Crushing Confessions

crushing-confessions

Beginning

I tend to have mixed emotions about Valentine’s Day depending on the current stage I’m at in life. February 14th has treated me to various feelings ranging from happiness to despair. In the midst of dwelling on my own relationships, or the lack thereof, I began to wonder about the lives of those around me. Inspired by an anonymous Facebook forum consisting of scandalous confessions, I’ve asked my friends and classmates to submit anonymous stories about love and the lessons that they’ve learned from past relationships. Regardless of if you’re single, taken, married, or caught up in some sort of complicated mess, I hope that these stories can bring you some lighthearted laughter and comfort.

Secret Confessions:

“Once upon a time, on a Valentine’s day, I asked my first love to be my boyfriend through a letter I poured my heart out into. But he never gave me an answer. Exactly one month later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I guess he just wanted to be the one to make the first move!”

“My first true love wasn’t real. We had all these memories that I always keep engraved in my heart…except, they were only precious to me. It doesn’t even matter that we got along so well, that we had the same interests and sense of humor, or that we were completely compatible for each other. He never realized it and took my love for granted. There wasn’t a second that went by without thoughts of him flooding my mind. The way he laughed, the way he talked, the way he slept, the way he looked, the way he presented himself, the way he cared. It was all perfect to me. I still like to believe that we are soulmates and that we will end up together one day. I could be patient. Maybe he will finally realize that I was the one all along. The one who would do anything and everything for him. The one who never ceases to care for him. The one who he is supposed to be with. He showed signs of danger, but I ignored them all because I had never felt this crazy about anyone before. There was something about him that was just so addicting. I should’ve learned my lesson. I should’ve quit him. But how do you quit something that you never had the chance to officially start? Maybe that’s the reason I am holding on still. I’m holding onto a little sliver of hope that we could actually be something great.”

“I found myself living a life that resembled a sweet dream. I met a boy who was different from any that I’ve ever encountered before. We met at a friend’s wedding and he and I had an instant connection. We danced, drank champagne, and he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. Before I left, we exchanged numbers and throughout the week, we would Facetime for endless hours. I knew I needed to sleep and to do homework, but our time was limited since he lived thousands of miles away. After school I would pick him up to go on dates and he even met my friends. As the week progressed, I kept pinching myself to check if I was stuck in a long, beautiful dream. But before I knew it, things took a turn for the worse and it became a nightmare. He asked to start a long-distance relationship and I didn’t want that, he became more and more obsessed while I didn’t even know how I felt about him. Things ended, tears were shed, and I went back to my reality. Now and then, I still think about him and the memories that we shared, but I’m not looking for a dream guy anymore. I need someone real and who’s going to be there for me when I need him.”

“I want to say it was love at first sight. After admiring him from afar, I told myself that I need to meet him one day. That day came eventually and he was all I had ever imagined him to be. Then all of a sudden, I kept on running into him coincidentally. It was weird, especially considering before I met him, I had never actually seen him around. So why now? I took it as a good sign. I took it as a sign that I should have him in my life. So the more I saw him as time progressed, the more I became obsessed. I was always on alert. Always wondering when I would see him or what I should say to him next. I always tried to look presentable just in case we ran into each other. My friends tried to make me admit it to them. That I liked him. A lot. But I knew that it was impossible for us to even happen. He was way out of my league. I kept all my feelings to myself, denying it all the time when people asked me. “He’s just a friend.” However, there came a point where my behavior was getting too much. I became so obsessed with him (always thinking about him, talking about him, trying to be everywhere he might be) that I created problems with my other friendships. I neglected my other friends, ditched them, because everything was about him. I wanted so badly to be someone he valued that I would sacrifice anything. I told myself to stop. Stop liking him. Stop being obsessed with him. Stop everything. I tried. Really hard, I did. Yet I couldn’t get rid of the feelings. I could only suppress and bottle them up. I didn’t know how to stop liking him. And I don’t think I ever will.”

Lessons Learned

“People say first love is not meant to work out because you’re young and you need to experience more. But what if you can experience more with the same person and grow together? Lesson learned: first love can work out if two people genuinely love, care and continuously put effort into their relationship.”

“During freshman year, I became interested in a guy who posted on my class Facebook page. He added me as a friend and even though we didn’t really talk, I thought he was cute. Little did I know, he turned out to be gay. Lesson learned: talk to boys that you think are cute in order to avoid these kinds of situations!”

“I dated this guy, despite knowing all the things he’s done with other guys. Being naive and trying to see the good in everyone, I assumed that he wouldn’t do any of those things to me and decided to give him a chance. You can probably guess what happens next. A month after we got together, he texted me saying that we needed to talk. He told me that he cheated on me and then I broke up with him. Lesson learned: once a hoe, always a hoe.”

“The more I live, the more I have come to realize that feelings develop on their own accord. They can be controlled to a certain degree, but their beginnings are as spontaneous as a good idea. I didn’t really understand this until I fell for someone I shouldn’t have. The relationship began in a way that most don’t. There were no guarded feelings, nor any skepticism. At the very least, it was the start of a deep-rooted friendship. The relationship transformed quickly as the weeks passed; I soon found myself in a place of unrequited love. This is a special, rare love. Even though we don’t see each other everyday, my love for this person grows little by little. Maybe this is too serious. Maybe I need to move on. For now, this is the reality of having met this person and having developed the relationship to the point that we did. Lesson learned: Love is hard, but I don’t think I would change anything about it.”

“I have two first kisses. The first was in second grade when a boy chased me around the playground at recess until his friends caught me… then he kissed me. It was a real “princess in distress” moment. The other wasn’t until my freshman year of college. My first real first kiss was at a conference. It was drunk and sloppy, with a guy from a different school who I didn’t know and will never see again. All I can say is that it was waaaay too much teeth. But between the two, I’m more grossed out about the first. Lesson learned: Consent is literally everything. Girls aren’t princesses in distress, waiting to be chased. Girls are queens. Don’t treat them like anything less.”

That’s it for this post, everyone! I hope you have a very happy Valentine’s Day.
ending
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