Lately, a lot of you have been noticing that I’m not as active on The Clothing Statement as before. I feel like I should explain myself. Being a college student, I devote the bulk of my time focusing on academics, involvement with student organizations, working on the weekends, and spending time with my friends and family. It may sound simplistic, but there’s a lot going on in each sector of my life. With all of the hustle and bustle of college, I can’t seem to make time for the most important person in my life: myself.

As a disclaimer, I know I usually write really light and easy reads, but I’ve decided to make this week’s a bit more personal. I hope that some of you will be able to relate to what I’m currently going through and find some inspiration to keep pushing forward as you are NOT alone.

Soul searching can be defined as “deep consideration of one’s emotions and motives.” In this post, I’m going to be writing an “open letter” to myself focusing on the soul searching process that I’m currently venturing upon, bad habits I’m learning to stop, and good habits I’m trying to start.

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Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Someone once told you that comparing yourself to others will only make you feel miserable– which couldn’t be more true. You’re completely guilty of nitpicking and doubting yourself because you’ve never felt like you were good enough. But the more that you’ve thought about it, the more that you’ve come to terms with where you’re at in life. Everyone is at a different stage. While a classmate might’ve just gotten a new internship, a friend just got married, or a sibling just got promoted at work, everyone has different things going on for them and there’s no “correct” timeline that everyone must follow. Please don’t listen to the auntie that tells you her daughter is doing better than you in school, or that one friend who’s constantly bragging about the exciting things going on in her life. You’re fine the way you are and good things will happen to you in due’s time.

Stop Listening to Negativity

Rumors, lies, and jealousy get to even the best of us. While you love running this blog and putting content that you create out on the web, it does come with a price. 98% of the feedback that you receive are so nice and makes you feel on top of the world. But every once in a while, there are comments made that completely shatter your self-esteem. You’ve been called a poser, a wannabe, and fake. For a while, these comments really impacted how you viewed yourself. You even contemplated whether or not you should continue on as a blogger, but then you remembered back to the other 98% of the comments that made you feel grateful to have The Clothing Statement in your life. You should never stop blogging just because of a few negative people who don’t know you nor your story. With the help of great people that love you, passion for what you do, and goals for a brighter future, you’re going to stop this horrible habit of letting negativity get to you.

Start Reflecting on Life

Reflecting on life is something that you consistently work on. Reflecting can be different for everybody. Some people listen to music, some do yoga, others stand in front of the mirror and talk to themselves. Personally, you’ve found that writing is your favorite outlet to reflect upon your current situation and feelings. You love writing poetry, journal entries, and making pros/cons lists. Writing allows you to put your emotions into words and makes the thoughts that you keep to yourself into something tangible. Seeing everything on paper puts your inner thoughts into perspective as you can see what’s really bothering you, how you can potentially relieve your problems, and overall, it helps you understand yourself a lot better. Regardless of how you choose to do it, the act of reflecting upon your life in general is crucial to become more positive.

Start Focusing on Yourself

Focusing on yourself is one of the most important things you can do while soul searching. This is something that you have to work really hard on as you love being involved and you’re the type of person who puts other people’s feeling before your own. Being selfless is a great trait to have, but before you know it, your feelings and needs begin to not matter anymore as you become focused on other people. This is where self care comes into play. You’ve started to schedule self care into your daily routine. Whether its by doing a face mask, taking a bubble bath, watching an episode of your favorite TV show, writing a new post for The Clothing Statement, or going shopping, doing something that makes you happy has been a key factor in relieving stress. Being selfish can be the best form of self care for your own mentality.

Hamy, my biggest hope for you is to loosen up, let your guard down, and just live the way you want to live. Those who matter to you do not mind, and those who mind do not matter. You are absolutely fine, just the way you are. Believe in yourself, know your worth, and just keep searching for your soul.